The Blame Game

Having children involves a lot of responsibility. Such as providing a good home for them to live, taking care of their basic needs, teaching them how to be good children, be the best that they can be in whatever they do and the list of things we wish for them to have & learn goes on & on & on. I wonder? Is Integrity part of what we impart? Most of us are sure that we do. But do we teach it in the right way? Integrity is a laudable attribute, and it is commendable only when our words & actions concur with how we live our lives.

How do we teach honesty? Is it by word of mouth or teaching by example? I was happily yakking w/a friend of mine & she brought up how difficult it is to discipline her kid. I remembered an anecdote she told me while her kid was at school. She said that one time his kid’s teacher gave a seatwork to the entire class. While all of his other classmates were busy finishing the task, he was happily having his recess, when asked by the teacher why he didn’t do his seatwork, he didn’t answer. The teacher started to reprimand him for not listening; he ignored the teacher & looked out the window. Come recess that was the time he started wrapping up his work. While relating this story his mom was laughing proudly & making excuses about her child’s behaviour. During that same week, she also bought them lots of goodies to eat & snack food for 2 weeks for her children to bring to school. When she opened her cupboard she was shocked to see it almost empty (coz there were at still a few candy wraps & biscuit crumbs littered inside). She remembered reminding her hubby to keep him away from the cubby hole and to tell the kid that the goodies are for him & his siblings to bring as snacks to school. Unfortunately, her husband just smiled & told her “It’s alright, let him be.” As for my friend, she started making excuses for her child’s actions. Such as her kid being only 6years old; he will know better when he gets older. The teacher in his school does not know how to relate to kids, and the excuses continue.

I think this happened to me when I was growing up. Being the 1st child I was given all I want & when I don’t get it I brood & my parents upbraid each other for not giving me what I want; It’s like it’s your fault, no it’s your’s . . . We are oblivious to the fact that when we make a choice and it’s unsatisfactory we tend to put the blame on anything or anyone to digress from the reality that we made a wrong decision.


And so goes the constant blame game, which we can date back to the time of Adam & Eve. Quoting Genesis 3:12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree I ate.” When the man was caught eating the apple he blamed the woman, who in turn blamed the serpent. Where in the world did Integrity come to the picture? ? ? Not admitting that we made a wrong choice, adding insult to injury by putting blame on something or someone else & getting cantankerous for an action we only made is a contradiction that tests our reliability. Our Integrity is unchallenged; if we admitted that we committed a mistake. We all know that children unlike adults are avidly observant & steadfast to emulate, and if we do not make excuses for our actions, by teaching them fairly nuggets of wisdom as early as possible, and as they see constancy in what we say & do our children will revere us, in turn they will be admired when they come close to our age.