Compassion

How do you deal with a loss in the family? Loss so sudden, breathing one moment & lifeless in another second. It must've been very painful & numbing. Especially when you blame yourself for their demise. Or started blaming someone else or the circumstances. My sister and I went to a wake of our friend's father yesterday. And when we arrived only my friend's sister was there. While waiting for her to arrive we asked what happened. My friend's sister started crying & said that she blamed herself for her father's death. She regretted that she & her other siblings argued over hospital bills & that they can't afford to prolong their father's hospital stay. It's as if she caused his death, she blurted sobbing. Still, they decided to take him out of the hospital because their bill was getting extorbitant. As they left, the attending physician did not instruct them on aything else, just told them that there is no assurance. On what? At home they all tried their best to take care of their dad. They even bought three (3) tanks of oxygen to help him breath with ease. Unaware that the oxygen tanks will last for four hours only instead of eight & one was empty discovered only while trying to replace their dad's oxygen. I don't know but should the children have been actively inquisitive on how to take care of their father or the doctor should have not been incompetently negligently because she failed to guide the patient's family on what to do? Where pray tell did they buy that oxygen tank? To be given one tank less & to be used by a patient in critical condition no less is really telling of an evil deed. Their dad had pneumonia & breathing would have been difficult, so that oxygen would have been vital in his survival. At 79 years old he will need all the medical assistance he can get. She also told us that their dad insisted on going home because he wants to be near his wife, who recently had a stroke. Plus, he has been feeling great pain, while he was given his medications. My sister was hospitalized with the same condition last week & when we were at the hospital, she experienced the same pain when she was given the anti-biotics intravenously. She was crying as that liquid was cruising through her veins. If we had not told the nurse & asked them to do something, my sister's BP would have shot up & she could have suffered a far worse fate. How painful could it have been for a man his age? Our friends added that their father does not complain of any pain at all, but, as he gets medicated he screams in agony. At home, they try to ask him what & how he feels, but I guess since the oxyen is not helping him much he could not even speak to them about it. My friend finally arrived & she continued by saying that the day he expired, everyone panicked because when they had to test for air from his nostrils none came out. They called an ambulance but it came too late. Everything was too late. The siblings who were there started blaming each other, his death caused a rift & more pain with all the blames that day. What can I say? What can you say? No one really prepares you for any of this. It might not be my father but I can feel the pain that my sister's friend felt. To blame yourself & to put the weight of his death on your shoulders is tormenting. The details & the other curcumstances seemed irrelevant because in her heart she is to blame. The only thing I did that time is to give her a hug. After a while, I just told them that maybe it's God's way of telling you that it's his time. Maybe this is the way that it should happen. As I said that she told me that, since their mom is still with them, they will not scrimp on money. While she is still alive they will give their all & not think of the cost. Moving on is what they have been telling us, that day, but I don't think it will be that easy. It's good that they have the courage to voice out their fears & what they plan to do. And the only thing friends like us can do is be at their side at this moment, in prayer & every now & then offer words of encouragement. Even with all the encouragement it will still be up to them which direction they would move to next. What I realized is whatever actions we do, most of the time affects other people around us. It's a daunting task to do good all the time, but, would it really hurt us, to do so? Nobody is to blame for what happened. What is necessary is to be observant & try to care for people around you. I may be saying this, but honestly it's difficult to care for people nowadays, since most do not care anyway. So,maybe just a bit of compassion shown at their time of need will go a long way. Don't you think so?

Polibusocial

When I thought about starting on my own I didn't think about the complicated world of politics, the competitive business arena & the crowd I would bow to daily (heheheheheh as if I do that) Monday of this week, my sisters & I went to our Municipal Hall. They were renewing their NBI clearances & I have to renew my business permit. Getting to renew & acquiring a new permit is not as frustrating anymore. Because the day I came to the Business Permit & Licensing Office there was a great turnout. I'm not referring to the applicants & business owners but a great turnout of staff from the BPLO office. The demeanor has improved, too. Instead of being shoved around & being shown a finger pointing you to the next step, now you get a SMILE every now & then. Not all will give you that drop dead gorgeous smile,(if you can call it that) but some of them do try to. Their department head even at this point I can say, is haplessly hopeless in this category of a Smile away. His is more of No smile so you can't stay in his presence longer than needed. Although, he gets to talk to a chosen few & I guess if he does not know you, like in my case, you will still get a glance, a sharp not so friendly glance as he signs your documents. Then thankfully someone helpful tells you where to stand next & you will still get lost even in that small space. Because even if they tell you number 6step, while you are there you will have to really ask them where to next.You will look like a fool at first.Why? Because even if you are at your destination, you feel alienated until you get to the right person who will accomodate you. Once they notice you, they make you sit unwelcomingly. Then they will insist that they do not believe that you only earned this much the previous year, even to the point of you letting them know that you started the middle of the year. Oh no they tell you straight "No, we don't believe you, we know for sure that stores like you earn this much." And they assess & write the monetary figure as they know should be your due. Which in my case is not like all the others they know. Anyway, as I finished in this section & paid off what was needed, I was asked to get another document. While I was at it I got acquainted with a fellow store owner. She asked me how much I paid & when did I start my store. When I told her she said that she requested the staff who interviewed her to assess a lower amount for her store. She also told me that she should have transacted with the inspectors, whom she confessed she gives P500 everytime they visit her store. This woman continued to tell me that securing a permit is not necessary at all, in fact she said the inspectors told her, she shouldn't have declared that she has this store in the first place. What does that imply? ? ? Those revelations coming from a woman, a store owner at that approx 20 years my senior, who encourages corruption by bribing inspectors, is not my style. While I on the other hand was told by an inspector to register & pay. But as I was going through what I have experienced it also crossed my mind that if I would have done what she did then I would have to pay less, and even give myself a pat in the back for a wise move by having an inside connection. Alas, I am not her. When I came home, all the things I saw & heard were reviewed. In the end I feel much better that I did what I have to do & didn't have to deal with a guilty conscience. Owning a business albeit a small one still requires responsibility. It does not necessarily mean that if it's a small sari-sari store, you don't have that dignity to deal with your customers & suppliers & be a good taxpayer. That dignity & respect is in fact what they should admire you for. Or is it? I face people everyday & I have my family's reputation to uphold. What I know is, I may not be as popular & as well accomodated as the others I saw in that office, and I may not be as cunning as that storeowner who managed to cut her dues in half; One thing for sure is this taxpayer earns through honest means & does not compromise on the quality of goods & services that she provides to her customers just because she has financial obligations to the goverment. The market has shrunk because there are many, many newly established businesses wanting to take a piece of the pie. I will just have to be creative & earn the best way I know. I guess if I want to survive in this polibusocial society is to learn from the best, do your best & give the best service you can provide. The way I see it, money is not everything in that office, power is. As long as they have the power to issue you a permit & to shut you down if you don't own up & pay up, they know you will be powerless to not shoulder your dues. BTW, if you get the chance to visit them, look at the slogans they have. Something like "taxpayer as important. . ." For some it would be BS for others you could say their getting to that commitment, because at least a few staffs are trying but not at their best try.

SMILEY

I almost forgot to share this event. Last year December 01, 2008 to be exact, before we close shop, we all noticed that there were many people just outside our gates. To be more precise they were all in the middle of the street gazing skywards & taking lots of pictures. To my amazement they were all looking up at rare sight of the moon in a SMILEY shape with two stars on top of that looking like it's eyes. I'm not a pro in taking pics but this amateur shots will give you an idea of how magical & elated we all feel given this once in a blue moon spectacle.