Compassion

How do you deal with a loss in the family? Loss so sudden, breathing one moment & lifeless in another second. It must've been very painful & numbing. Especially when you blame yourself for their demise. Or started blaming someone else or the circumstances. My sister and I went to a wake of our friend's father yesterday. And when we arrived only my friend's sister was there. While waiting for her to arrive we asked what happened. My friend's sister started crying & said that she blamed herself for her father's death. She regretted that she & her other siblings argued over hospital bills & that they can't afford to prolong their father's hospital stay. It's as if she caused his death, she blurted sobbing. Still, they decided to take him out of the hospital because their bill was getting extorbitant. As they left, the attending physician did not instruct them on aything else, just told them that there is no assurance. On what? At home they all tried their best to take care of their dad. They even bought three (3) tanks of oxygen to help him breath with ease. Unaware that the oxygen tanks will last for four hours only instead of eight & one was empty discovered only while trying to replace their dad's oxygen. I don't know but should the children have been actively inquisitive on how to take care of their father or the doctor should have not been incompetently negligently because she failed to guide the patient's family on what to do? Where pray tell did they buy that oxygen tank? To be given one tank less & to be used by a patient in critical condition no less is really telling of an evil deed. Their dad had pneumonia & breathing would have been difficult, so that oxygen would have been vital in his survival. At 79 years old he will need all the medical assistance he can get. She also told us that their dad insisted on going home because he wants to be near his wife, who recently had a stroke. Plus, he has been feeling great pain, while he was given his medications. My sister was hospitalized with the same condition last week & when we were at the hospital, she experienced the same pain when she was given the anti-biotics intravenously. She was crying as that liquid was cruising through her veins. If we had not told the nurse & asked them to do something, my sister's BP would have shot up & she could have suffered a far worse fate. How painful could it have been for a man his age? Our friends added that their father does not complain of any pain at all, but, as he gets medicated he screams in agony. At home, they try to ask him what & how he feels, but I guess since the oxyen is not helping him much he could not even speak to them about it. My friend finally arrived & she continued by saying that the day he expired, everyone panicked because when they had to test for air from his nostrils none came out. They called an ambulance but it came too late. Everything was too late. The siblings who were there started blaming each other, his death caused a rift & more pain with all the blames that day. What can I say? What can you say? No one really prepares you for any of this. It might not be my father but I can feel the pain that my sister's friend felt. To blame yourself & to put the weight of his death on your shoulders is tormenting. The details & the other curcumstances seemed irrelevant because in her heart she is to blame. The only thing I did that time is to give her a hug. After a while, I just told them that maybe it's God's way of telling you that it's his time. Maybe this is the way that it should happen. As I said that she told me that, since their mom is still with them, they will not scrimp on money. While she is still alive they will give their all & not think of the cost. Moving on is what they have been telling us, that day, but I don't think it will be that easy. It's good that they have the courage to voice out their fears & what they plan to do. And the only thing friends like us can do is be at their side at this moment, in prayer & every now & then offer words of encouragement. Even with all the encouragement it will still be up to them which direction they would move to next. What I realized is whatever actions we do, most of the time affects other people around us. It's a daunting task to do good all the time, but, would it really hurt us, to do so? Nobody is to blame for what happened. What is necessary is to be observant & try to care for people around you. I may be saying this, but honestly it's difficult to care for people nowadays, since most do not care anyway. So,maybe just a bit of compassion shown at their time of need will go a long way. Don't you think so?