The Diary

I was going through some of the messages from friends from another social networking site (NOT FB - Face book) when this particular GM (general message) caught my attention. My friend was right, teachers should take particular interest in how this writer wrote her short story, and may even use this as an answer sheet where students can correct all the mistakes in it.

This Diary is a funny way of describing one's day, and the instances are like excerpts from a novel, funny because of all the misinterpretations, grammatical errors and what have you. Most of us who have an idea of what the writer is referring to can comprehend in one way or the other what she really wants to say. But for those who are just beginning to learn the English language,finding this funny and entertaining, many if not most may think this as the correct way to express their thoughts, and feelings and may let this become a norm in writing amusing anecdotes. Let's just hope that this is all this diary will be a funny anecdote, and that it becomes a writing exercise for learning the right words at the right situation, not some scrambled and trying hard manner to speak and write English.
____________________________________________________________________________________
My sisters and I LOL (laughed out loud) reading this article from a newspaper…our teachers should really focus on good English…speaking it, writing it. The author was inspired to publish this article because of the mangled English coming to her left & right…most of them coming from the ubiquitous social networking tool that is Facebook.
Read this without getting a nosebleed…have fun interpreting it… (“,)


The Diary

“It was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear, the birds were chipping.
Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries.
Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya.
Grabe andaming fans, pull-packed talaga!
Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila na rin ako.
Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng “Indaaayyyy…”
Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?
“Dodong!” sigaw ko.
Napalakas yata voice ko kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin.
Sabi ko “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.”
Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.
“Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open?” tanong nya.
“Bihira lang Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh…” sabi ko.
Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong?
Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimples ni Aga at bigote ni Rex Cortez.
He’s every woman’s dreamboat.
I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang una kong makilala si Dodong.
Contraction worker sya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin.
Naging kami for a while then, after that were not an item anymore.
“Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni Dodong.
“I don’t mine.” Sagot ko.
Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter.
“What’s your odor, sir?” sabi ng waiter kay Dodong.
“Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong.
“Yes, sir” sabi nito. “Our porkshop with aresistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error was completed. It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully,” dagdag pa nya.
“And you mam?” sabay tingin naman sa akin.
Hhmmmn…mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I’m cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.
“I’ll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh,’ sagot ko.
Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong na manood ng sine.
Teka, teka, this is going too far, I thoughts.
Besides, it’s a long, long way to run.
“Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married,” pagmamalaki ko.
“Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don’t want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect,” dagdag ko pa.
Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin.
The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity.
Di naglaon, nagsalita na rin si Dodong.
“I don’t care less!” sigaw nya.
Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako.
To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part.
Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach.
Tinalikuran ko sya at nagmadali na akong lumakad palayo.
Pero sumunod pa rin sya like a monkey on my butt.
Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard.
Biglang nawala si Dodong.
“Excuse me Kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi ko.
“Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure,” sagot nya.
“Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes.”
“Diretso lang” sabi nya. “Then turn right anytime with care.”
“Thanks for your corporation,” sabi ko.
Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy!
As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong!
Delaying static lang pala kanina yung pag-disappear nya.
“Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot nya.
Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar.
Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act.
In the matter of minute, it’s all over. I’m out of arm’s way.
“Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you…?”
Bago pa man ako matapos, sabi nya, “I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed.”
From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship.
Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t-isa at walang exhibitions. I feel I’m on cloud line.
XXXXXXXXXXXX

So, does it remind you of someone you know? (“,)

Pls give me back my load!

When was the last time a total stranger did you a good turn? Or better yet when was the last time you did a good turn?

In the Philippines prepaid cards are normal, and we have what we call load retailers to service those who prefer prepaid than being a regular or postpaid subscriber. I am one of those load retailers, my second month today to be exact.

It was one of those days, those busy days when I have to struggle between FarmVille and CafeWorld that a new customer walked in to have several celfone numbers loaded, that was the same day the Service Provider had a system failure. To my surprise instead of sending the request to load once I sent it thrice because there was no confirmation on my side that the number was loaded already. It was my mistake. I was thinking too much about the wilting crops on my plantation and the pot roast that I needed to serve in the cafe.

Nah! I was just confusing you.

In fact I was so sure I already loaded the correct amount for the correct number but have not received the confirmation. So, what I did was to load it again and still there was no confirmation. In the end I had to tell the subscriber to be patient and that the load will be messaged shortly. After she left, Only then did I receive a message, that the whole system was down and my distributor had no way to check if the amount was uploaded on their system. I tried calling the main office but I had a long wait and in the end my call was dropped after a voice over machine said it cannot process my request. It was one of those frustrating moments, making you curse with irritation. What else can I do? I had to message the subscriber this time and used up my personal load because we had to message each other more than 5X so that my customer will be assured that I will not run away with her money and fully understand what's happening. I also told my customer that if nothing happens that evening I will make sure to return her money come morning. The system was not fixed that night and no other help came from my distributor.

I rose early the next morning to try and call the main office again, but it was taxing to wait for a live person to assist me. Until, another one of my regulars asked for her number to be loaded. To my gladness, the system confirmed my request right away. What made me queasy and uneasy was when I discovered a large amount of discrepancy from the last amount I loaded to last night's balance. I had to call my subscriber last night if she received the load amount she requested she said yes, received only that morning. I also had to bravely ask her if any of the load last night registered on her celfone, she said no only the ones I loaded that morning. I was restless it was a loss for me and not a small sum. To my relief she said that she called the main office and had to call me back because upon checking her balance, her celfone was indeed loaded 3X. So my customer told me that she will load me back the amount. I was so happy and I thanked my lucky stars!

Please give me my load back?! I did not have to say this and beg and struggle just like the other stories I heard before I became a retailer, about those who mistakenly loaded to other celfones or loaded them 2X. Because, it happened again today. To my happiness, when I messaged the subscriber he came back right away and paid for the extra load. I prayed that many of my customers would be like these two. Their types who return stuff that they did not pay for, those who give you back the extra dollar you gave as change, etc, etc, etc, because of these kind of kind people I learned that "honesty is the best policy", and that there are still many in this world who care more about people than the money or the "free load" they will get instead of thinking it's their mistake let them suffer the consequences. I will strive to do as they did, more than that if I can. . .