The Diary

I was going through some of the messages from friends from another social networking site (NOT FB - Face book) when this particular GM (general message) caught my attention. My friend was right, teachers should take particular interest in how this writer wrote her short story, and may even use this as an answer sheet where students can correct all the mistakes in it.

This Diary is a funny way of describing one's day, and the instances are like excerpts from a novel, funny because of all the misinterpretations, grammatical errors and what have you. Most of us who have an idea of what the writer is referring to can comprehend in one way or the other what she really wants to say. But for those who are just beginning to learn the English language,finding this funny and entertaining, many if not most may think this as the correct way to express their thoughts, and feelings and may let this become a norm in writing amusing anecdotes. Let's just hope that this is all this diary will be a funny anecdote, and that it becomes a writing exercise for learning the right words at the right situation, not some scrambled and trying hard manner to speak and write English.
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My sisters and I LOL (laughed out loud) reading this article from a newspaper…our teachers should really focus on good English…speaking it, writing it. The author was inspired to publish this article because of the mangled English coming to her left & right…most of them coming from the ubiquitous social networking tool that is Facebook.
Read this without getting a nosebleed…have fun interpreting it… (“,)


The Diary

“It was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear, the birds were chipping.
Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries.
Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya.
Grabe andaming fans, pull-packed talaga!
Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila na rin ako.
Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng “Indaaayyyy…”
Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?
“Dodong!” sigaw ko.
Napalakas yata voice ko kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin.
Sabi ko “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.”
Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.
“Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open?” tanong nya.
“Bihira lang Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh…” sabi ko.
Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong?
Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimples ni Aga at bigote ni Rex Cortez.
He’s every woman’s dreamboat.
I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang una kong makilala si Dodong.
Contraction worker sya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin.
Naging kami for a while then, after that were not an item anymore.
“Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni Dodong.
“I don’t mine.” Sagot ko.
Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter.
“What’s your odor, sir?” sabi ng waiter kay Dodong.
“Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong.
“Yes, sir” sabi nito. “Our porkshop with aresistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error was completed. It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully,” dagdag pa nya.
“And you mam?” sabay tingin naman sa akin.
Hhmmmn…mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I’m cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.
“I’ll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh,’ sagot ko.
Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong na manood ng sine.
Teka, teka, this is going too far, I thoughts.
Besides, it’s a long, long way to run.
“Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married,” pagmamalaki ko.
“Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don’t want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect,” dagdag ko pa.
Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin.
The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity.
Di naglaon, nagsalita na rin si Dodong.
“I don’t care less!” sigaw nya.
Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako.
To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part.
Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach.
Tinalikuran ko sya at nagmadali na akong lumakad palayo.
Pero sumunod pa rin sya like a monkey on my butt.
Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard.
Biglang nawala si Dodong.
“Excuse me Kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi ko.
“Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure,” sagot nya.
“Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes.”
“Diretso lang” sabi nya. “Then turn right anytime with care.”
“Thanks for your corporation,” sabi ko.
Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy!
As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong!
Delaying static lang pala kanina yung pag-disappear nya.
“Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot nya.
Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar.
Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act.
In the matter of minute, it’s all over. I’m out of arm’s way.
“Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you…?”
Bago pa man ako matapos, sabi nya, “I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed.”
From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship.
Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t-isa at walang exhibitions. I feel I’m on cloud line.
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So, does it remind you of someone you know? (“,)